How I Think
by Xiaine
Summary: Story unfolds through the mind of Lavi :
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not my characters 3 They belong to Katsura Hoshino. Have a bit of Lavi/Allen fluff.

Odd. When I talk to you about yourself, you avoid the topic. When I comment you on how nice you look, you bashfully disagree and move on to something else. When I touch you, you move away and shiver slightly. When I pat your head, you duck and give me this shocked face. When I walk over, I can see your face slowly changing to a deep red. You're funny, Allen. I know what's eatin' you. I know why you're acting this way. I can tell it's something you feel for me. Can't say I don't feel the same for you. Strangely enough, I can't get the words to form. And here I am, thinking so hard to myself on how. Yet I pick this day and time...this moment where I'm about to die, just to get the message across. We were both thinking it, I just said it.

Hey! Quit calling me crazy. I'm spillin' my guts here and you completely reject any of the words coming out of my mouth? Don't you get it? I like you, man. I seriously do. I can't explain as much as I would like. Damn akuma is really pissing me off. Blood's rushing to my head. It sucks to confess while upside down. My legs, I've lost all feeling in them. I can barely see you now. I never really found that weapon of yours neat till it became a huge sword. When'd that happen again? Right... at the Earl's place. Ah, shit my head. You cut me loose and I fell head first. That hurt. My mind's all jumbled now. Every thing's hazy. Okay, Allen, where are you? Ah, there you are. I feel the need to continue.

Really? You're still avoiding the subject? The akuma's dead. You killed it just now. N-No! There's no need to patrol anymore. This was our assigned area. Alright, you're making me feel like an idiot. Stop avoiding me. Allen, hey!

...

You asked for it. Your eyes say so. You got really soft cheeks. And your lips were pretty soft too. Like kissing a pillow. Hah, I'll cherish this moment for sure. But, I got my point across right? You stopped talking and you can hear me say it clearly.

You averted your eyes to some unknown area. What are you thinking? That red face isn't telling me anything besides the fact you're embarrassed and I may have been a bit too forceful. So how do you feel now? Can you repeat what I said? Can you get out the words? I'm done confessing. Say something!

Nah. You're in denial. That's alright. I can wait. Keep yourself in a less stressful state. I rather you be calm than pulling your hair out. Just don't make me wait too long. I'll go crazy if weeks became months. Unless of course, you tease me every now and then. But...that's highly unlikely.

So you walk away. This never happened and my feelings towards you were just a dream. We beat the akuma and all is well. All except me.


	2. Chapter 2

Katsura's boys. Not mine. Laven for you : D

I'm not understanding you. What's with this sudden affection you're showing towards me? The sudden touching and complimenting. What the hell's up with you these days? You can't possibly be serious more than half the time we're around each other. My heart pounds each time, my face flushes, I feel embarrassed for no real reason, though I guess it's just cause I...

No, I don't. I can't focus on such things. The akuma's our main objective. That soul attached, I can't bear to look at it without feeling my heart being torn. Hearing it's cries. I have to free it. As a weapon I have to foc-

Huh? What are you saying? Lavi, shut up! You're speaking nonsense! You chose now of all times to kid and play. You're hanging upside down for goodness sake! Why won't you just quiet down for a moment and I'll just get you out of there!

Done, its over. The soul's been released and-

You're still going on about that? You're just pulling my leg. Another damn joke of yours. I don't mind them half the time, but really, this is getting old. Quit joking. We have to patrol. What do you mean no? It's time to check out the other side of this building. If you won't follow then just stay there.

Lavi, don't-

I can't believe you just did that. What's wrong with you? You can't feel that way about me. That's not a good sign. I can't speak. I feel like I'm choking. You're saying all this stuff I had hoped to say to you one day. Wait, what am I saying? I don't like this. Not this situation, I can't return these feelings. They'll just get in the way, I'll only hurt you. Lavi, please. Let's just go. The akuma's dead now.

I'm sorry but, I just don't love you.


End file.
